A
Compass for the Heart: A Mother’s Legacy of Love and Wisdom
My
Dearest Son,
I
am writing this because there will come a day when my voice is no
longer the primary one in your ear. You are growing into a man of
strength and ambition, and naturally, your heart will begin to seek a
companion. I have watched you navigate the world with courage, but
the territory of the heart is where even the strongest men can lose
their way.
Williams
Patrick Praise
Choosing
the woman you will walk beside is the most significant decision you
will ever make. It will determine the peace of your home, the depth
of your focus, and the quality of your future. Sit with me for a
moment, and let me share the wisdom that life, and perhaps a few
tears, have taught me.
1.
Look Past the Canvas to the Soul
A
woman’s beauty is a gift, a masterpiece of nature that is meant to
be admired. It is okay to be drawn to a bright smile or a graceful
gait; we are visual creatures, and there is no shame in appreciation.
However, son, never
mistake a beautiful face for a beautiful life.
Beauty
is the wrapping on a gift, but character is the gift itself. In the
quiet hours of the night, when the makeup is washed away, and the
world is silent, you will not be living with her silhouette—you
will live with her integrity,
her kindness,
and her resilience.
The
Litmus Test:
Does
she speak well of those who can do nothing for her? How does she
handle disappointment
The
Reality:
Physical
attraction is the spark that starts the fire, but character is the
fuel that keeps it burning through the winters of life. Choose
a woman whose soul has a fragrance sweeter than her perfume. When the
years inevitably fade the bloom of youth, you want to be left holding
the hand of a woman whose character makes you a better man.
2.
Love Is Not a Transaction
There
is a common mistake men make when they are young and eager to
impress: they lead with their wallets. They use cars, expensive
dinners, and designer gifts as a hook. I am telling you now, son:
never
use material things to attract and woo a woman.
When
you lead with money, you attract people who are hungry for what you
have,
not who you are.
If you buy her affection, you are essentially entering into a lease
agreement, not a relationship. And the moment the payments stop—or
someone else offers a higher price—the "love" will
vanish.
Love
is not for sale.
It
is a currency of the spirit, earned through shared laughter, mutual
respect, and emotional safety.
The
Goal:
Find
a woman who is impressed by your vision, your work ethic, and your
kindness. If she loves you when you are eating bread and water, you
will know she is there for the right reasons when you are feasting on
steak. Build your empire, yes. But find the woman who is willing to
help you lay the bricks, not just the one who wants to move in once
the palace is finished.
3.
Be the Captain of Your Purpose
One
of the greatest disservices a man can do to himself—and to the
woman he loves—is to make her the absolute center of his universe.
It sounds romantic in songs, but in reality, it is a burden no human
being is designed to carry. Never
make a woman your priority to the exclusion of your calling.
You
were put on this earth for a mission. You have talents to sharpen and
a legacy to build. When you make a woman the sun around which your
entire life orbits, you become a moon—cold, reflective, and without
your own light.
The
Dynamic:
A
woman should not be your "everything"; she should be the
partner who compliments
your
life.
The
Magnetism:
A
high-quality woman is attracted to a man with direction. She wants to
be the queen beside a king who is ruling his domain, not the
caretaker of a man who has no identity outside of her. Stay
centred in your purpose. Pursue your goals with ferocity. The right
woman will not try to distract you from your path; she will walk it
with you, offering you water when you are tired and cheering the
loudest when you succeed.
4.
Love with Your Eyes Open
There
is a dangerous myth that love must be "blind." I am telling
you to love with your eyes wide open. Love is only blind to those who
are reason blind. Love
wisely, not foolishly. Love
is a bridge, but a bridge must be built from both sides to meet in
the middle. If you are the only one laying bricks, the only one
compromising, and the only one reaching out, you aren't in a
relationship—you are in a pursuit.
Reciprocity
is Mandatory:
A
woman who genuinely loves you will match your effort. She will check
on you when you’re down. She will respect your time. She will
invest in your happiness just as you invest in hers.
The
Red Flag:
Do
not pour your life’s blood into a cup that has a hole in the
bottom. If she only takes and never gives, if she expects sacrifice
but offers none, walk away. Your heart is a treasure, son. Do not
give it to someone who treats it like a common stone. Genuine love is
a beautiful exchange, not a one-way street.
5.
The Shield of Genuine Affection
Finally,
understand the nature of protection. A woman who genuinely loves her
man becomes his greatest ally. She is the one person in the world who
should be a safe harbor for your vulnerabilities. A
woman who loves you will never intentionally do anything to harm you.
This
doesn't mean you won't have arguments; two people building a life
will inevitably clash. But there is a difference between a
disagreement and betrayal.
1)
She will not weaponize your secrets against you.
2)
She will not humiliate you in public or private.
3)
She will not seek to diminish your spirit to make herself feel
larger.
If
you find yourself constantly "on guard" in your own home,
or if her actions consistently leave you depleted, wounded, or
compromised, then that is not love. Love protects. Love nurtures.
Love is the hand that reaches out to steady you when the world tries
to push you down.
My
son, I tell you these things not to make you cynical, but to make you
discerning. The world is full of wonderful women, but not every
wonderful woman is the right woman for you.
Be a man of high standards, not out of arrogance, but out of
self-respect. Treat her with the utmost honour, protect her like a
jewel, and lead with strength—but ensure she is a woman worthy of
the life you are building. You are my pride and joy. I want to see
you happy, but more importantly, I want to see you at peace.
With
all my love and prayers,
1
Corinthians
13:1-13
If
I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I
am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of
prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I
have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am
nothing.
If
I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship
that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
Love
is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is
not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it
is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not
delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects,
always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love
never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where
there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it
will pass away.
For
we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes,
what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a
child; I thought like a child; I reasoned like a child. When I became
a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now, we see only a
reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know
in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
And
now these three remain: faith,
hope
and love.
But the greatest of these is love.
By
@WPPraise