I
will praise you, for I'm fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139: 14.
By Williams Patrick Praise
You
are the only person you will be with for your entire life. You are
your own longest relationship. Isn't it time you made that
relationship a priority?
We
live in a culture that treats "busyness" as a badge of
honour and self-sacrifice as the ultimate virtue. We are the
generation of the "givers"—the parents who skip meals to
finish science projects, the employees who answer emails at 11:00 PM,
and the friends who are always a phone call away, even when they are
falling apart inside.
We
spend our lives pouring into others. We pour into our careers, our
families, our partners, and our communities. But there is a quiet,
dangerous irony in this noble pursuit: You
cannot pour from an empty cup.
When
we neglect "Ourself," we aren't just hurting ourselves; we
are diminishing the quality of the love and service we give to the
world. Self-love isn't a luxury, a spa day, or a selfish detour. It
is the foundation upon which every other success in your life is
built.
The
Myth of the Martyr
For
many of us, the word "self-love" feels uncomfortable. It
carries a faint scent of narcissism or indulgence. We’ve been
conditioned to believe that to be a "good person," we must
put everyone else first, always. Its normal to be caring also be wise
not to fall into the perils of men pleaser. You just can't please
world. They that do end up frustrated and miserable.
But
there is a thin line between being selfless and being
self-neglectful. When we live in a state of perpetual self-neglect,
we don't become better caretakers; we become resentful, exhausted,
and hollow versions of ourselves. We show up for others physically,
but emotionally, we are miles away, anchored by burnout.
True
self-love is not about choosing yourself over
others;
it is about including yourself in the circle of people you care for.
Why
Self-Love Matters: The Survival Strategy
Self-love
is often marketed as "soft," but it is deeply rooted in our
psychological and physiological survival. When we practice
self-compassion and prioritize our well-being, several vital things
happen:
1.
The End of Burnout
Chronic
stress triggers the release of cortisol, the body’s primary stress
hormone. When we neglect our needs, our bodies stay in a "fight
or flight" mode. Self-love—whether it’s setting a boundary,
sleeping an extra hour, or engaging in a hobby—signals to our
nervous system that we are safe. It lowers the heart rate and allows
the body to repair itself.
2.
Emotional Resilience
Life
is guaranteed to be difficult. You will face rejection, loss, and
failure. If your self-worth is tied entirely to how much you do for
others, a single failure can shatter you. However, when you have a
foundation of self-love, you have an internal "buffer." You
become your own safe harbor, allowing you to bounce back faster from
life’s inevitable storms.
3.
Higher Quality Relationships
Have
you ever noticed that when you are exhausted, you are also irritable?
When we neglect ourselves, we lack the patience and empathy required
for deep connection. By caring for "Ourself," we replenish
our emotional reserves. This allows us to show up for our loved ones
with genuine presence, joy, and a listening ear, rather than just a
tired body.
The
Three Pillars of Self-Love
Self-love
is a practice, not a destination. It is built on three essential
pillars that require daily attention.
What
it Means
Self-Awareness
Recognizing
your limits, triggers, and true desires.
Why
it’s Hard
It
requires us to be honest about our pain and shadows.
Boundaries
Saying
"no" to things that drain you so you can say "yes"
to your health.
Saying
"No" when folks ask for help, it doesn't makes you a bad
person. Folks come to you to ask for help majority of time because
they know you're a soft person and they can easily get away. It isn't
because they care about you. The day you stop given, you will never
hear from them again, is like you never existed in their world.
It
took me many years to stop been used by people and learn to say "No".
It's one of the greatest liberty of self liberation you'll ever
experienced. That when you find it, you will find inner Peace.
Why
it’s Hard
We
fear disappointing people or being perceived as "difficult."
Self-Compassion
Speaking
to yourself like you would speak to a dear friend.
Why
it’s Hard
We
are often our own harshest critics and loudest bullies.
The
Practicality of the "No"
If
you want to understand the power of self-love, look at your "No."
Every
time you say "yes" to a commitment you don't have the
energy for, you are saying "no" to your own peace of mind.
Every time you allow someone to cross a boundary, you are signaling
to your subconscious that your feelings don't matter.
Setting
boundaries is the highest form of self-love. It is the act of
protecting your energy so that you can remain a functional, loving
human being. Remember: The
people who get upset when you set a boundary are usually the ones who
benefited from you having none.
How
to Start "Choosing You" (Starting Today)
You
don't need to move to a mountain top or spend thousands on a wellness
retreat to practice self-love. It starts in the small, quiet moments
of your day.
Audit
Your Internal Dialogue:
Pay
attention to how you talk to yourself when you make a mistake. Would
you speak to a child that way? Switch your inner critic for an inner
coach. Instead of "I'm
so stupid for forgetting that,"
try
"I've
been carrying a lot lately; it's okay to be human."
Schedule
"Me Time" Like a Doctor’s Appointment:
We
never miss appointments for others. Why is your time less valuable?
Block out 30 minutes a day where you do something purely for your own
joy—reading, walking, or just sitting in silence.
Forgive
Your Past Self:
You
did the best you could with the tools you had at the time. Carrying
shame is like drinking poison and expecting your enemies to die. Let
it go. You deserve to move forward
unburdened.
Identify
Your "Energy Leaks":
Who
or what leaves you feeling drained? Self-love is about curating your
environment. Limit time with "energy vampires" and spend
more time in spaces that make you feel light.
The
Ripple Effect
When
you begin to love yourself, something miraculous happens: the world
around you changes.
You
stop seeking validation from external sources because you have found
it within. You stop settling for "less than" in your
relationships because you finally know what you are worth. Most
importantly, you give others "permission" to do the same.
By modeling self-care, you teach your children, your friends, and
your colleagues that it is okay to be human, to have limits, and to
value their own existence.
Self-love
is the most unselfish thing you can do. Because when you are whole,
when you are rested, and when you are happy, the version of you that
the world receives is a masterpiece, not a fragment.
You
are the only person you will be with for your entire life. You are
your own longest relationship. Isn't it time you made that
relationship a priority?
Don't
wait for a burnout to happen. Don't wait until your body screams for
a break. Start today. Acknowledge that you are worthy of the same
kindness, patience, and love that you so freely give to everyone
else.
Take
a deep breath. Look in the mirror. And for the first time in a long
time, say to yourself: "I've
got you. You're doing a great job. And I love you."
It
is time to move from the theory of self-love into the practice of it.
Since we are often our own worst critics, having a tangible framework
can help shift the habit from self-neglect to self-investment.
Below
is a structured approach to building your personalized self-love
routine.
The
"Ourself" Restoration Framework
Think
of your energy like a battery. Most of us wait until we are at 1%
before we plug in. The goal of a self-love checklist is "trickle
charging"—keeping your levels high enough that you never hit a
total blackout.
1.
The Morning "Micro-Check" (The First 5 Minutes)
Before
you check your phone or look at your to-do list, anchor yourself.
Body
Scan:
Notice
where you are holding tension (shoulders, jaw, or chest).
One
Intention:
Ask,
"How do I want to feel
today?"
rather than "What do I need to do?"
Hydration
First:
Drink
a full glass of water. It is a physical act of saying "I
matter."
2.
The Daily Pillars (Choose One from Each)
You
don't need to do everything every day. Pick one small win from each
category to maintain balance.
Physical
A
10-minute walk, a nourishing meal, or 7+ hours of sleep.
Emotional Journaling
for 5 minutes or saying "no" to an optional chore.
Intellectual
Reading
a chapter of a book or listening to an inspiring podcast.
Spiritual/Quiet
2
minutes of deep breathing or sitting in nature without a device.
Pray.
Life is fragile. So handle with prayer
3.
The "Emergency" Self-Care Protocol
When
the day becomes overwhelming and you feel your patience thinning, use
the H.A.L.T.
method
to check in with yourself. Before reacting to others or spiraling
into self-criticism, ask:
1)
H
— Am I Hungry?
2)
A
— Am I Angry/Anxious?
3)
L
— Am I Lonely?
4)
T
— Am I Tired?
If
the answer to any of these is "Yes," your priority is to
address that biological or emotional need immediately. That is the
highest form of self-love in the moment.
Setting
Your Boundaries
To
protect your checklist, you need "No-Go Zones." These are
boundaries that prevent the world from leaking into your private
space.
Digital
Boundary:
No
screens 30 minutes before bed or 30 minutes after waking.
Social
Boundary:
If
an invitation doesn't feel like a "Hell Yes," it’s a
"No."
Work
Boundary:
Set
a firm "log-off" time where you stop checking
notifications.
Your
First Step
The
biggest mistake people make is trying to change everything at once.
This leads to more stress, which defeats the purpose of self-love.
Live
is like a beautiful flower at the garden. The more we take care of it
the more healthy and beautiful it becomes.
All
Rights Reserved
@WPPraise
wpp@mycomforter.org
